I voted for it
as "humanitarian"
Never thought I'd, "need"

It is official.
Food stamps, unemployment, kids.
I am a poet.

I don't want to go
I'm back to escaping life
and don't know myself

"Raw" is forbidden
I should choose insanity
to let the hurt go

Sacrificed 30's
in misery, loss, and pain.
When is my reward!

Teens and twenties gone
Working for caged direction
ALL can be taken

I was stripped and raped
A school I gave my love to
betrayed me for this

Three years into death
I had a month of freedom
but am damned once more

I should take a bath
run a mile, stop the bile, start
start to care again

I can be normal
but I have to hold my breath
until they come back

Vomit aftermath

isn't punishment enough

for what I went for

Not the sin I did
But the guilt I flew onto
gate of hell right through

Rather bleed it all
painful to look into shards
mirror in forearm

Unemployment checks
a mockery of what I
used to be; I'm null

Live until you don't?
Thanks, Regina, but I'm dead
on the radio

How much must one drink
to make it all go away
and wake up ok?

I have so much here
too much to ever put down;
it's clogging my mind

I want to avoid
you -you make me feel so bad
and call it, "progress"

Its always FIGHTING
-the restraint makes me angry
I should just hit you

gut bigger than breasts
fuck the gym 'cause you gave up.
...
They've taken the kids

No woman writes of
un-sexy, sad, sad, places
hidden within them

Dutch chocolate cookies,
a box of wine -pajamas.
Fell off the wagon

Lets play "Hide and Seek"
and when you never find me,
pretend its a game

Who writes about truth?
Nobody with anything
worth risking; not me.

There are times when I
can be marvelous.  Now; though,
is not one of them