Hard Kiss

hand on bare torso
in an alleyway hiding
hair grab.   pull.     hard kiss

Exile in Layoff Land

Exiled from a life

I spent my whole life building

leaves me in the dark

What is expected

After you've been rejected

with no other plans?


When I was let go

I started in shock, denial

then... anxiety

Then worse rejection

losing opportunities

to lower-paid kids

When you work and live

and raise children and vote there

and know half the town

Constant reminders

Of a bastardized lifestyle

Everywhere I go

My friends all have jobs

where I worked/lived for so long

now I don't see them

How could I see them?

A walk through the market sucks,

I duck behind aisles!

But I love my kids

and they really love this town

So I choke it back

I need the fuck out

out of this shame and anger

I'll stay in this town.

But not in this place

I'm done with their witch-hunt

I LIVE here. So deal.

The Looking Glass

I don't recognize
the shadows under my eyes
the lines by my lips

I know the stretch marks
my apostrophes for cheeks
the scar from a fall

I laugh at myself

as white hairs peek through red dye

springing up like weeds

a skeleton leaps out

a visage reflecting light
wearing a grimace

I'd look to see whose,
but the sadness in my eyes
can't get close enough

Sex Tool

sex is a tool, love
not as bastardized machine
but fortifying

exquisite is the

lovers' use of expression

when there are no words

a gift to console;
-making up after a fight
requires its sweetness

sex is pure evil
when used against innocence
or the unwilling

sad. many just "do,"
without valuing its taste
or understanding

sex is dynamic;
it mends, destroys, and rebuilds
-please, use it wisely

Two Gifts

I don't regret it

That is to say I do but 

for my life's two gifts

And though I give all

I won't give them up ever

and so am stuck here

Second is ok.

I give them first whole-hearted

and without regret

...but I do regret

and those become midnight toils

questions unanswered

If I called the cops...

If I wasn't so afraid...

If I was stronger...

It should be enough

to know that I DID protect

to know they won't know

Memories are torture

I barricaded my doors

bed pans in the room

"It's just a game, see?

We can't let him in the room.

Just wait for quiet."

"Hear say" it was called

It only happened one time

(afraid to say more...)

And so it repeats

what I couldn't say in court

again in my head

Not in words that shy

But unexpected floods

of sharp images

Not when I expect

But from nowhere -everywhere

It is happening

Three peaceful years went

He was treating them better

with half custody

I suppressed/blacked out

(many are gone forever)

-our... my memories

I left.  I have them.

They make all bad into good

And I did change it

I did it for them

They don't remember his deeds

but I am haunted 

Entrapment

I am trapped by life.

The one I worked at wholly

has left me undone

My lifetime I learned

Sacrificing and working

-only to stop shy

If only I lacked thirst,

but I have ambition, need

the mind to create...

Without a purpose

I am denying myself

and my brain runs dry

My intellect burns

with every application

for a numb lifestyle

I am NOT a wife

Not a telemarketer

nor doctor nor cop

It's not the income

or a prideful mindset, no

I know what I am.

What I hold is a

beauty of intelligence

and the gift to share

I am a scholar,

thinker, writer, teacher

all been left to rot

Cruel injustices
like lapping waves of feces
disease my bare feet